Self

It's been another intense week as my dad was back in the hospital for three days. Although this time was not a heart related issue. Things seem to be under control and he's doing fine at home again.

As I take a more active role in my parents lives, I seem to be more and more aware of my self. Honestly, I'd just rather not have some of those things revealed. Some not so "Christ like" attitudes come bubbling to the surface and sometimes they leap right out of my mouth, just like when I was a teenager! That is an era of life I DO NOT wish to repeat! Do you know what I'm saying? Really! How ugly those days were. Oh Man! How in the world did I ever get away with talking to my mother the way I did? um um um...There was not an ounce of "Honor thy father and thy mother" in my heart back then. Thank God for unconditional love!

I thought that I had "grown up". Well, I'm here to tell ya'll, that no matter how many birthdays we have, "self" never seems to grow up! This week I found myself acting just like a little child in deep need of a nap!
Well Praise God for reminding me, that is why we have a Savior. "Come to me all you who are weary and heavily burdened and I will give rest to your soul...". Think of that! I mean REALLY think of that. He gives rest to my soul. To YOUR SOUL! To me, that is the "peace that passes all understanding". God himself, actively guarding my heart and mind in Christ Jesus, so that I don't need to be restless and unsettled. Take a deep breath and really ingest that truth.
Situations/relationships/ministries that I am called to may remain stormy for a time, but even in the midst of that storm, when my Savior whispers in my ear, 'peace, be still', my very soul finds rest.

Thank you Heavenly Father for being the perfect parent. You take me into your arms and hold me firmly but gently until I finally s i g h, and release my self into your keeping. And thank you Jesus for being the perfect child, who even unto death and denial of your self, remained faithful to your calling and obedient to your father. I want to be more like you.


Change is good.


Matthew 11:28 ; Phil. 4:27

On The Mountain Top

The picture on my blog profile was taken while on a trip to Colorado in 11/06. The mountain you see through the trees is Pike's Peak. We took a Cog Train up 14,110 feet above sea level, to the top of the peak, and as you can see, the view was amazing! (Some people hike it. What are they thinking?)

I'll never forget that trip to Colorado because it had a profound impact on my life. God had a plan to use a literal mountain top to bring me out of a spiritual valley, and I haven't been the same or looked at him the same since then. His sovereignty became real to me that week. As I acknowledged his lordship and as I surrendered the things I was clenching in my hands into his most capable ones, the process of change began.

It was a week of gaining a new perspective on life in general, and refreshment for my soul, which at that time was pretty empty.

Does being alone outdoors seem to open the lines of communication between you and God like it does for me? I don't mean just out in the yard. I'm talking about "alone" by a stream, at the beach or in the woods or literally on a mountain. It's like the static in my head clears and I hear his voice. I see His power and creativity, and my humanness. This retreat center is purposefully located in the mountains for the participants to reflect and to prepare for change.

We were taught from the Word and then challenged to go deep into ourselves where we might not want to go, so that changes could be made from the inside out. I found out that my faith was in need of a make over and that it was going to be a slow process, a "hike" so to speak, to reach the goal that God has set before me. And my "yellow lab" tendencies are a regular pain in the neck. Especially when it comes to practicing the disciplines I need to exercise, in order to reach those goals. But with God all things are possible. Even teaching an old dog new tricks.

It's been almost two years since that week on the mountain top. I think I've made some progress toward looking more like Jesus, but I have a long way to go. The trails are not straight or flat like I'd prefer, but I'm gaining stamina in my walk. Trusting the Lord is becoming second nature to me. I find myself saying, "I trust you", in situations I never believed I could. And the cool thing is, I really do trust him.

Change Is Good.

"For physical training is of some value, but Godliness has value for all things holding promise for both the present life and the life to come." 1 Timothy 4:8

Faith Walk/Hiking

You might have noticed in my "about me" that I like camping. I really do like it a lot (In a trailer mind you. NOT in a tent). I don't much like the preparing though. Organizational skills are not one of my strengths. Still, i've gotten pretty good at the planning and packing over our family's 20+ years of experiencing the "great out open doors", as one of the kids used to call it. And now with our upgraded trailer I like it all the more. I begin my process of 'nesting' the minute we get the trailer unhitched and perfectly positioned for as much privacy as the site will allow. We're not snobby campers, but we like to create a little home away from home atmosphere...that's where my nesting comes in to play.
Other things I like about camping are the lazy days with no schedule (unless we chose it), the sunshine (we seek it out on the eastern side of the state), camp fires, no phone, being up close and personal with the water(always water), biking, a captive family, taking walks. Notice I did not mention hiking in my list of things I like to do. That was very purposeful. I DO NOT ENJOY HIKING. Here's what hiking means to me. PAIN! Pure and simple. I've done it. I've succeeded at it. But really, I didn't like the "doing". My personality says, "when the going gets tough, STOP! I'm not proud of that. It's one of those changes that i'm working on.

Now after painting that rather negative view of hiking, why in the world do I equate it to my faith walk? Because, both can be very painful. Can you relate?

I've been a Christian for about 48 years. I've undergone many changes in my relationship with Jesus. The most painful ones have brought about the best change. That being, a deeper level of Trust in my God. Moving from 'believing' in him, to whole heartedly 'believing' him. I don't know how many times a day I say, "I trust you". It's become like a montra.

So ya, a faith walk could really be called a faith hike. The steps can be slow and painful and might include switch backs and hills (i hate hills). But the view at the end of your destination can take your breath away. Change is good.